Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
