i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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