just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
