Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
