The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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