Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
