So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
