I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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