I just threw up on my dentist
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
