Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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