Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
When did we convert life to cartoon?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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