Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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