man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You ruined the universe
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
