You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
