you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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