Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
This can only be settled by a dance off.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
