Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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