your thong is hanging out like whoa
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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