No stitches, just platelets and will power
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
