Yo dont text me then not text me
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
