If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
