so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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