she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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