i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
