Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
