I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize