How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
