Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
