i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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