he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize