What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
It was confusing and full of hummus
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
