As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
