you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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