ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
