I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
