he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
