is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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