Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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