U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
