You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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