He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
