seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
