Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
