just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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