I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I love you.
Bad choice
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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