After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
