Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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