thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Randomize