Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Is it because I queefed?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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