Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
there is puke in my bra ... again
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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