Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
