You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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