gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
