It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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