OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
