Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
