Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
