She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
