porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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