Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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