So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
