Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
