Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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