i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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