So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
