dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
