i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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