Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Redeem this text for a blowjob
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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