you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
