I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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