Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Dicks are not precious.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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