I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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