i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
