kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
