Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
