My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
