i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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