do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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