so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
