Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
