Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
