Whod you bang
Kiss
Puke
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Randomize
