But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
